Santa Claus is loosing it
Christmas will have to be cancelled this year. Santa Claus has been fat and old for quite some time and it finally got to him - he has been diagnosed with Diabetes Type 2.
“You can not eat and eat and eat and be obese for decades and hope that it will not take a toll on your health. I mean what was he thinking. Now he has to miss his work. He had it for quite some time but did not want to accept it. He was also hiding it well from us. So its really bad now. He might loose a leg. And what are we going to do than. I mean we work all year for this day and now its busted.” said one of the elves.
“I know I made a mistake. I now realize I have a problem with eating and I need to control it. There is no choice, I will have to miss this Christmas and a lot of kids will not get a gift. A lot of good kids. I am so sorry about that and I can only blame myself. My leg will also be cut off. But I will fight it back. I will get on a training and diet regime and I will beat the illness. I will kick its ass. Fuck Diabetes. Fuck Carbohydrates. Next year I will train and I will eat well and I will control my disease and I will do an Ironman. And after that I will climb Mount Everest and I will also run around the world and I will clean my room.” promised Santa.
Instead of Santa Claus this Christmas entertainment will be done by South American version of Santa Clause - El Domingo. El Domingo is conceived by an advertising agency and he will be sponsored by a tobacco company and a gambling website (South American countries have loose laws when it comes to advertising).
El Domingo will be on all the worlds media and will give free cigarettes and free coupons for betyourlife.com.
Marry Christmas from El Domingo and NewsLose.com! We love you!
