Paris Hilton vs. Shanna Moakler
Last night in a NYC nightclub Paris Hilton was beaten up by Shanna Moakler.
Immediatelly press was intensily focused on finding out what caused this accident.
“I saw Paris Hilton in the club and than I heard this voice in my head. This voice told me I should grad her right breast as strong as I can and hit her with a crowbar in her eye.” said Shanna immediatelly after the incident.
When asked how often does she hear this voice she replied: “Yeah, the Voice tells me how to do things often. I dial my agent and when there is a crucial situation the Voice takes over instead of my agent. Usually what I do makes me more popular. You know. More visits on my website. More of my name in the news. But it does not work out well every time. Last week I have beaten up some retarded children in a hospital and than I peed all over their beds but I guess that was too much for media. I think beating up Paris Hilton was the right thing to do in order to get popular. Voice is not ALWAYS right but when he is it rocks!”
Little is known that Paris Hilton actually controls the Voice that order Shanna what to do. Also Paris controls another 137 voices that issue orders to most of the celebreties, media people and politicians.
“A girl has to do what a girl has to do. Sure Shanna made it to the news papers but my name is again on top of things. It is all about search results and media coverage.” admited Paris Hilton while talking in her sleep.
Her publicist, who is actually a cured heroin addict alien from the planet Zorg, also said: “We have done extensive research as to what can improve Paris’ sexual appeal and we come to an empirical conclusion that photos of her beaten up (face and breast brusing) would attract an S&M public. Not many people realize that 87% of world male population is into violence over women and this definitelly works out for them. Think about all those third world places, they love to beat up their women over there. It is a part of their sexual and general culture and we need to expand to those areas. World is becoming too small.”
According to the money supermarket, one should abstain from loans as long as possible. A student loan is a different matter, but going for a personal loan is serious and should be avoided.
