NEWSLOSE.com

Google has decided to get on of the media headlines and stock buying lists of middle and upper class America again. In order to raise interest and its price Google has bought a wide variety of items, businesses, people and ideas. Each of these items increases the power of Google ten fold.
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Matt Nagle is paralyzed, unable to move his hands, legs and breathe since he was stabben by a knife.

Now there is a new chance for him to interact with his surroundings with his thoughts. Scientists have implanted a chip in his brain that allows him to interact with a computer and than through the computer with other objects like tv, toster, refrigerator, wife, spaceshuttle etc.

However it is also possible for these objects to start controlling Matt or any other user of this technology. A toster could easily start using Matt to kill his enemies like Mr. Blender. Another scenario is more even more horrific, it would allow people online to tune into Matt’s brain and make him do things they want.

However many industries find this product very useful (braincontrol is always great for power hungry freaks). First interests have emerged from cycling community - apparently Tour de France teams have realized they can brainprogram average people using this technology to cycle even faster than their overdoped professional athletes - and the machine can be hidden in the helmet once it becomes illegal (at this point UCI and WADA are not banning it).

Another application is in political lobying, very soon politicans can become like video game characters that are controlled by heavy industrialists.

Internet giant Google has issued a press release yesterday announcing that the tiling in one of their office toilets has been replaced and/or updated.

Google has been the leader in internet innovations for the past decade. Constant investments in gazillion little (at first glance useless) projects supported by outsourced software houses in India and 10km under the Earth surface all financed by advertising revenues and middle aged US midwest investors, have forced Google to bombard the media with an average of 104 press releases every day. Hence we are forced to get another press release about their tiling change.

Microsoft and IBM are very far behind Google in amount of press releases: 67 and 53 per day, although they have issued a press release that press release production will increase significantly in the 3rd and 4th quarters.

“IT business is redefining itself into a press release business.” says one of top IT executives “Technology research and development have became absolete. 14 year olds can produce better software than we can without living their homes. What makes a difference between top players nowdays is media presence - there is never enough media space to sell IT products and services.”

Another Wall Street analyst expects a wave of takeovers from IT sector into a publishing sector: “It pays off for Google to buy newspapers rather than to manage their own staff of 1050 pressrelease writers. I am expecting a move like this within the next 6 months even they already have partial monopoly on internet news, Google knows that the real news is paper and tv news.”

However Newslose will limit Google, Microsoft and IBM press releases significantly.