Google buys YouTube and some other stuff
Google has decided to get on of the media headlines and stock buying lists of middle and upper class America again. In order to raise interest and its price Google has bought a wide variety of items, businesses, people and ideas. Each of these items increases the power of Google ten fold.
Here is a Google shopping list:
- One antique chair that is worth almost nothing is bought for 100.000 USD. It is believed that Google brand is so strong that buying completely worthless items can immediatelly increase these items value and therefore Google generates corporate capital. However consultants have forgotten to mention that to increase value of a chair by 100.000 usd one needs to spend 100.000 usd, or even more.
- One left toe of a 56 year old Chinese used car salesman is bought for 43.456 USD. It is not clear how this toe directly influences economic potential of Google but it is nevertheless supported by investors and also by the 56 year old Chinese used car salesman who is also sueing them after he sold them the toe.
- One Country of Liechtenstein is bought for 67.999,95 USD. Now citizens of Liechtenstein will have to eat Google food, watch Google tv, read Google books and browse only Google sites. All cars will be Google cars and all Liechtenstein children born after today will be named Google with a number after (example: Google 4587). Liechtenstein itself will change the name into Googlestein. Enormous increase in brand value.
- Seven old rusty mountain bikes for 56 USD. Investment in fitness, health and wellness of Google employees (and Googlestein) is of long-term benefits.
- IwilleatyourliverforlunchandthanIwillwaxmyassanddrinklemonade.biz for 950.000.000 USD is one of the less known and dire investments by Google into ecommerce. It is not necessary to explain the details. It is only useful to mention that the website was run by a Pakistani 10 year old that still wets his bed.
- One Holly Grail for 100.000 USD. After Hitler has found it, it was lost and later again discovered by Dr. Indiana Jones from whom Google has purchased it.
- One YouTube.com for 1.600.000.000 USD.
The maniacal purchasing of all kinds of useful and useless items has been a trend amongst people in power. From Conan to Hitler to Bill Gates, rich and powerful have been increasing their worth through both illusion and real capital. Google is neither at the beginning nor the end of this trend.
