Genetic engineering makes pee nutritious
Scientists in Germany have designed a new feature in humans though genetic engineering. They will be able to design the nutrition content of the urine of people.
“I personally was always bothered by the prices of orange juice. I drink it every morning so I need to buy it regularly. Millions of people need to buy orange juice regularly because they all drink it in the morning. First thing we do is get our orange juice out of the fridge or we squeeze the oranges and than we go for the coffee. We also take a pee in the morning. So I found a way to connect these two and save people some daily costs.” said the chief scientists of the German Institute of Genetics, Dr. Dieter Hasnokok.
The result of their research is that people will be able to pee orange juice whenever they want.
“Just imagine you wake up and instead of peeing and than squeezing the good old OJ out of the oranges now you can just pee in a glass and drink it. Or you can pee directly in your girlfriend, wives, kids or parents mouth. It is perfectly safe and nutritious. It is real OJ. I do it every morning with my children and our annual savings of 234,56 Euros a year have allowed us to buy an additional speaker for our 25.000 Euro sound system we hardly ever use.” continued Dr. Nasnokok.
This new discovery has literally destroyed the orange juice industry. Many brands like Minute Maid and Nutralife have drastically dropped in sales. However some analysts say that peeing on your family faces will never catch up, even if it is OJ that is being peed.
“I think it is crazy. I can not imagine myself peeing something in a glass and than giving it to my mother. I think Dr. Hasnokok is crazy. It all sounds like a joke to me. Someone should control this kid of experiments. I am amazed such things are allowed to go out. Not that they should be kept secret even. They should just not be done.” said one of the Wall Street analysts.
“Progress was many times met with scepticism and resistance. Who can say that in the future our bodies will not be absolutely functional. If we can pee OJ, shit butter and fart perfume why not. This is what people consume every day and they need it. Billions of tons of resources for these products are spent every day. If we can cut that production down than I think we have succeeded. Even if it seams a bit funny for today’s mainstream audience. I think 50 years from now it will be perfectly normal. Our bodies will also be our supermarkets.” concluded Dr. Hasnokok.
