Fidel Castro alive and kicking
To prove that talks about his sickness are not true Fidel Castro decided to give a 34 hour speach in Havana.
Famous for his long speaches Castro’s record so far has been 32 hours 21 minutes and 15 seconds during which 345821 people have been forced to listen to him. Officials from GUiness book of records recorded it as the worlds longest speach and also the longest speach to the biggest crowd. Apparently Castro has an obsession with Guiness book of records and considers his records as the crown achievement of his lifetime.
During this record setting speach, which took place also in Havana 3 years ago, there was a treat of people walking away when very sharp ice cubes started to fall from the sky. However Cuban secret police forced every single person to drink a slow acting poison which would kill them after 40 hours if they would not take antidote. Antidote was given to those that maintained their presence during the entire speach.
This time Castro has decided to save money (poison proved to be too expensive and logistically demanding) by using only high voltage wiring around the sqaure. It is estimated that some 500 000 people will show up and all of them will be trapped by wiring until the speach is finished 34 hours later. There is danger that the mob will loose control and people will fall onto the fences and therefore be burned alive but estimate is that this will create a minimal loss of around 3% which will still leave pleanty of space for the Guiness record braking spech.
It is announced that Castro will talk about many subjects during his defying speach - for example he will cover some personal subjects like his backaches and toilet manners, he will also shed some light on his cooking recepies (he is an avid cook) and will also read through all the previous speaches (obviously mostly selected parts). Castro does not wish to neglected anyone so there will also be parts for youngest (childrens story), retarded (again childrens story) and homosexuals (recollection of Castro’s early anal sexual experiments).
If Castro succeedes in this attempt he hopes to convince the West that he will be the ruler of Cuba for ever.
