NEWSLOSE.com

EU has confirmed the cancellation of visas for citizens of Serbia starting of 19th December, 2009.

Serbian government and businesses will organize all available transport on 00:00 on 19th December for some 3,5 million Serbs which registered to move to EU countries.

It is estimated there is a need for some 150.000 buses, 200.000 cars and 5.000 airplanes.

Project of this size has been met with eager planning and vehicles have been sourced from all over the world. One of the largest assistants was Republic of China.

China first offered consulting and know-how on more covert immigration tactics but eventually gave up on explaining things to Serbs and donated some 50% of the vehicles.

It is estimated that 3,5 Serbs will probably spend all their savings on wine and fashion clothing in the first 45 minutes after what they will dwell jobless and complaining in major cities for another 2 years before they finally return to Serbia. The money spent (estimated 50-75 billion EURO) will give EU the necessary economic boost to exit the financial crisis. Serbia will not suffer financial crisis due to lack of any financial monitoring.

John Neil is a champion swimmer, 50m freestyle Beijing Olympic Games finalist and a USA National. However, he has a problem…

Due to increased adrenalin before and during competitions he experiences uncontrollable erections and was forced to race with erections.

This very particular medical condition has been tolerated by swimming authorities, other competitors and audiences… untill now. John Neil has been finally asked not to compete anymore by FINA, worldwide swimming authority. Given reason is that it is unpleasant to present the audiences to his large erection.

Fina officials commented: “There you go! We finally said it! We can not have a guy with such an erection on TV and in major competitions. I agree - it did increase popularity of the sport - instead of 25 000 viewers per competition now we have about 750 000 viewers whenever John is competing… but still… we can not allow this. It makes some people uncomfortable and it needs to stop. We have turned our heads the other way for far too long.”

John Neil also commented: “There is not much I can do. I have to respect the decision of FINA. I love swimming but this is how I am. I will try some other sports, I have been already offered good deals to try gymnastics and bowling… they insisted I compete in speedos which is fine by me.”

You can see John Bowl in speedos on ESPN live every Saturday night.

Joe O’Connell has seen the advertising for Navy Seals and was very impressed. He has played shooter and war videogames all his life and has enjoyed most of the war movies he has seen. He also likes to work out and be fit and always liked team sports. Navy Seals was a natural choice for him so he enlisted.

But after few months he realized he made a mistake and decided to leave the programme.

Read the rest of this entry »